>24hours.

  Entering Vogel's room for the last time; Having a stye in my eye for the last time; Stressing out for the last time; Testing in AP Biology and AP Chemistry on the same day for the last time; Group testing in Chemistry for the first and last time; Complaining for the last time; Driving in Lucy for the last time; Making food with my Oma for the last time. 
  The last time before I am on my way to Romania; the last time before my life changes.
   Maybe I should not have said what I said to my sister in front of my father.  "You don't want to see me on the last day I am alive?!"  Let's just say, he kinda told me to shut up.  
  He didn't really like the idea of my dying, but I kinda do.  NO! not the kind of dying as in my physical body being inanimate, but in a different way.  There are tons of bible verses that I can use to explain myself, here are a few:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. Mark 8:35

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:24

And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Matthew 10:38

When I die to myself, my selfish desires and sinning-ful ways, only then am I becoming alive in Christ.  I cannot serve two masters at the same time; I either crown myself Queen or Him King.  The sinning nature of humans automatically causes the person to crown himself king (or in my case, Queen), but, when we become Christians, we take the crown off our heads; and even though we still sin, the crown has been transferred from out head to His.  We trade our rags (unholiness) for God's pure white robe (righteousness). God no longer judges us by our sins and faulty decision making skills, but by our one decision: accepting Jesus' blood.  
The only being allowed in Heaven with rags is Jesus; and that is because his radiance shines through even the dirt; we need his white robe in order to hide our dirt.

This is dying.  Dying to yourself.

Students from Fayetteville Christian School, Village Christian Academy to spend spring break doing good in remote locations around world.

This article is taken from The Fayetteville Observer. Do not mistaken this writing for my own!

When Jesus gave his followers their Great Commission, he simply said to go and make disciples of all nations.
The advice to bring granola and bug spray came along later.
Next week, nearly 80 high school seniors and chaperones from Fayetteville Christian School and Village Christian Academy will share scripture and sweat in remote locations around the world.
One group will trek into a steamy tropical jungle, while the other will hike through chilly Old World scenery.
Both will come home tired and, their teachers hope, thankful.
"The students will get a workout, that's for sure," said Roger Vogel, a teacher at Village Christian. His group of 36 will head into the Transylvania area of Romania to share their faith.
Meanwhile, 47 students and chaperones from Fayetteville Christian will travel by dugout canoe to a remote village in southern Costa Rica.
The trips are part of the faith-based curriculum at both schools, a tradition that the students face with a blend of excitement and anxiety.
"It's a mix of both," said Erin Stanley, a senior at Fayetteville Christian. Her group plans to teach a Bible school and work on a fresh water project for a local tribe, the Bribri.
Students such as Chima Enwere acknowledge the week away from the comforts of home will be a challenge.
"No cellphone, no computer, all in a place I've never seen," he said.
Kevin Clark, another senior, said the experience will remove him from "my Southern comfort zone."
"For some people, the physical work will be different, but we'll all be a long way from home," he said.
That's part of the process, said Fayetteville Christian headmaster Tammi Peters.
"We can talk about the importance of mission work in the Christian faith, or we can do it," Peters said. "The experience teaches them how to teach others about our faith."
But the students learn other life lessons as well, she added.
"The experience helps prepare them for their life after high school, whether they're going to college, to the military, whatever God has planned for them."
Vogel agreed, saying that the experience should make the students less hesitant to go overseas in the future.
"Not only is it an excellent opportunity to serve the Lord, but it teaches them a bit about themselves," he said. "We're teaching outside the classroom. In the future, if an opportunity to travel overseas comes up, they'll have their passports and experience to fall back on. It'll be a piece of cake."
One lesson all the students share is to bring snacks. That and bug spray - lots of bug spray.
"We've been warned by the group from last year," Clark said. "I'm bringing granola bars and beef jerky."
"It's a different world," added Stanley, who said she's bringing Chunky Chips-Ahoy to fend off hunger and homesickness.
"It's going to be tough for some of us," Stanley said. "We'll be depending on each other for support."
Plus, Peters notes, the trip helps prepare students for the day they leave home.
"When they come back, they are much more appreciative of the blessings the Lord has presented us in our home country," she said.

jksaj klfdjsaklj dmngre wiojksa!

  You may be wondering why the title is so.  I can assure you it was not to get your attention, even though it completed that task.
  Just yesterday, I was walking in the school hallway and stopped at the water fountain to fill up my water bottle.  As I looked to my left, one of my friends was walking towards me down the hallway.  I heard him say something not of English- or any language of that matter.  I asked him, "Did you just say, 'Four days until Romania,'?"  And then he replied, "How did you know!?"
  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is not officially three days until we leave for Romania, maybe even a little less.  Today, the students participating in the trip received their Romania sweatshirts, which combined with the Romania jackets, are sure to keep everyone nice and cozy!  We are all ready and excited to head out of the country and into a changed life.  The next two days will be the last of our 'old lives' as we enter into something more than ourselves.
  Today, I found that coffee will be my new best friend over the next couple of weeks!  Good thing they do not come in Starbucks prices over there!

  Continue to Pray!

Commissioned.

  I have never been "commissioned" over; I may have been prayed over before, but this time it will stick in my memory forever.

  At the very end of the service, Dr. Martin, the preacher of VBC, called the mission team up to the alter.  He said a little something as I watched the camera drift over our faces; I tried not to look at myself on the screen.  He ended the service as he always does and then asked every member of the mission team standing to kneel before the alter.  This is when my emotions started rolling; I am too much like my mother.
  Hannah, my best friend, was right beside me, as always.  He sister-in-law put her hand upon her as I felt a hand come upon me; but I couldn't see the owner of this hand.  I felt like a angel was touching me and giving me some kind of courage, some kind of boldness.  I remembered my grandpa and how if he was still alive, that would be his hand upon me.  That morning, I purposefully put on the bracelet him and my grandma had picked out for Christmas; I feel closer to him when I wear his memory.  Every time I think about my grandfather, I have to shake it off; he is gone, I think, you can do nothing to save his physical body, you must now save others' spiritual bodies.  Just thinking about my grandfather helps me put my mind back on track.  Although I wish he was still here, there is nothing I can do about it; but, with God's help, I can help change the future of those still living, physically living; I can help change their spiritual future, so one day, like me, they will be able to see their grandfather again.

Finalizing.

  Today, for many North Carolinians, consisted of staying inside away from the cold snow with some hot chocolate.  But, the senior students, who in a week will have departed from the state, had a different agenda.  
  Today was a day which included weighing suitcases and getting all the final specifics in order.  It was a day that started off with donuts and ended with taco bell tacos.  Dramas were performed, stick dances were danced, and smiles were brought to almost every ones face when one student would yell out, "In a week we will be on our way to Romania!"  Many things were finished and started today.  Many things were brought up; and through this meeting many reminders were felt.
  I was reminded of how I need to start getting to bed earlier!  Now, I must go take a nap in order to store up some "sleep" for this trip.

"It Depends."

  If I was face to face with God and he told me to do something, there is no way I could defy Him.  
I am the type to obey every authority, so why wouldn't I obey God?  There are many who defy the wishes of human authority figures, so it should not amaze me that they would ignore the wishes of God.
  "OH! If we were going to Africa, I would totally be going on this mission trip!"  That statement may not seem harmful, but it is disrespecting not just those in Romania by saying 'they are not good enough for me to come to them' but also disrespecting those students and adults who are going on the Romania trip and God. 
  God knows much better than us humans, so if God leads us somewhere, we must follow; even if it is through a high school mission trip, where it may not seem of value.  But, in partaking in this mission trip, each of the forty individuals, student and adults, are carrying out God's mission; through this mission trip we are stepping out in the front lines, even as teenagers, something many adults have never done.

"Wherever you are -- be all there." 

It should not matter where a mission trip takes place, a true Christian should WANT to go wherever the opportunity is; God has given the opportunity for a reason, and if one uses the opportunity, God will allow great things to happen.  Sadly, many United States Christians are not truly Christians; the type who say one thing and do another, the ones who give us a bad name; the type who do not care about saving the lost from a life without God, a life of eternal dying, an eternal destiny cannot be changed, ever.

Pack Up and Get Out.

  The countdown is approaching single digits, and the excitement levels of the Village senior students are continuing to increase.  With every passing day, Romania only is coming closer, and the days we have been waiting for, for so long, are soon going to be reached.

   Since we leave next Saturday, this Saturday we are having a team meeting, and included in this meeting, each student must have all his/her luggage for the trip in order to get it weighed and such. Because of this 'having to be packed one week early' mess, my room and bathroom currently look like a bomb has been dropped, a tornado has arrived, and a '34' has been let loose.  Even though I am normally a very organized person, when it comes to packing, I have A.D.D. and O.C.D.; I cannot focus on one item while packing, which turns it into 'packing week'.  I do enjoy to wake up to a messy room because it, indeed, reminds me of what fun I will be having in *insert number of days left until Romania here* days.

I rather be blogging than journaling.

Time is Ticking.

  Today my devotion was taken from Luke 2:25,28-36,38.  

"Ask God to give you a steadfast spirit in times of conflict, meager resources, loneliness, and suffering." 

  This is NOT always easy to do. 
   For me, college is coming up, and yes, it is a BIG decision.  I mean, who wants to pay for something when they will eventually change their minds, who wants to waste their time; money and time are important, and once given away, you can never get it back (spending money on college).  Of course, the college I want to go to, the one that is number one on my list, Campbell, is also the most expensive on my list.  Knowing this, I have been applying for scholarships ever since Senior Year began, but the only money I have to go towards college in the money that is currently in Mr. Piggy; Oh! and the money that we have growing on the money tree out back. Although the government and others would probably think opposite, I do have meager resources, and that fact makes me worried and scared about my future; it makes me want to roll up in a ball and permanently live with my parents.
  But who can do anything productive living a scared lifestyle!? Who can witness and love others when they are scared of being mocked, scared of having conflict, and scared of not having enough money.  Although going to college is not exactly "witnessing" and "loving others," it is a decision that I have to make, and it does include money, time and God.  God should be in every decision, and he is definitely in this one.  I really want to go to Campbell, but I feel like God is trying to close this door that I have my foot halfway in, because of the money issue I am currently having.  I truly feel like I belong in that school, and I am going to have to trust that God will make a way.  
  But I wish it would be sooner than later, because my dad has his "deadlines."

"Every day it keeps on getting closer!"

   In one day, the VCA Senior Class will be leaving in two weeks to join up with their brothers and sisters in Christ in Romania.  The Sunday before (February 17, 2013) will be "commission Sunday."  Village Baptist Church will pray over the students and adults during one of the church services.
 Many of the students are excited; for some, this will be their first time out of the country, for others, this will be their first time on a plane.  
 Some students have a countdown in their planner, others have a countdown on their phones; some can tell you how many day, hours, minutes, and seconds are left in our waiting period.

When I look to my fellow classmates, I see them as seniors, twelfth graders; in AP classes, meant for only seniors to take; parking in senior parking spots, where only seniors are allowed to park; leaving early for lunch, early release a privilege for seniors to get their lunch early.  It is 2013, and we have 'Class of 2013' written on our shirts.  I realize that yes, we are all seniors, but it does not feel like it; it feels like it was just yesterday, we were taking naps in our kindergarten classrooms; it feels like just yesterday, we were throwing toddler tantrums over having to "move our stick";  it feels like just yesterday, we would get excited over book fairs and chorus recitals; it feels like just yesterday, I was that kid, freshman kid, who thought high school would last forever and graduation was still far away.  I am that same kid, now, just older, more mature, more wise; I am now a kid trying to find my purpose in this world; a kid getting ready to make huge decisions in my life that only I can make; an adult. I look again at my fellow classmates; they look like seniors, but it does not feel like we are seniors. This mission trip has always been a senior thing; it was equated with the seniors, hence "Senior Mission Trip."  This countdown, this two weeks left until my senior mission trip makes me feel like I am losing a part of someone I have always been.  For years, I have listened to and watched each senior mission trip chapel and heard about what they went through; and now, it is finally my turn to take this opportunity, and then later, share with those how our trip went.  After these two weeks are over, I will feel different, in a sense, I have lost a part of me: that part of me that has been waiting, and now the time has come.

We Conquered.

   It occurred to me not long ago that everyone of us humans are determining our futures; not our career futures or love life futures, but our spiritual futures.  This decision is final and can never be changed after death; it is not God's decision, but ours.  For example, when a child does something wrong and is grounded for it, the parent tells the child, "This was not my decision, but yours."  Although many children and teenagers will gawk at this example and tell me I am wrong, the parent must punish the child for what he/she has done, or they will never learn.  BUT this analogy does not fully convert; in the end, God is not trying to teach us anything, but is giving us for what we asked.  Many may claim that God himself is the one throwing humans into Hell, but the following verses will prove that theory incorrect. Matthew 7:23 states, "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."  Matthew 10:32-33 agrees, “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven.  But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven."

  People who die and are damned to Hell will go to Hell, BUT CAN NEVER GET OUT. EVER.  This seems kinda like a foreign thought, since all humans on earth are under time limits of some sort.  It is scary thinking of a person going to Hell and dying a second death FOREVER; a inescapable death, and unending death.  When I started trying to wrap my brain around that fact, it scared me, and tears sometimes leave my eyes when I think of this.

  Mr. Duffy told us one day in chapel something that is very true.  In Heaven, we will be able to sing and fellowship with others perfectly, but there is one thing that we cannot do in Heaven which we must learn to do on earth, and that is share the love of God with those who need it.  Christian should make a goal to get as many people on "our side," but share the love of Christ with as many people, and help them understand Him; yes, I want to "convert" people to Christianity so they will not spend an eternity somewhere where they do not want to go.  This is one of the main reasons I am so excited I decided to go on this Romania trip; although, when I leave, I may never see some of these people again in my human lifetime, I know that I will see them once again in Heaven.

Below is the latest version of our Who Is The Master skit!

In this video we are only missing one actress.  We still have minor changes to make, which will be made during the time before and during Romania.  I cannot wait to come home and perform this at our Senior Mission Trip chapel!

February 3, 2013: A Devotion.

   My grandmother gave me a devotional book for my birthday last year.  It is entitled "Jesus Calling" and contains a short one-paragraph (sometimes two paragraphs) devotional that encourages me and keeps me ready for the day.  Today, my devotional was based off of Romans 8:31, 2 Corinthians 4:18, and Genesis 16:13-14 (AMP).  
   Almost everyday, this devotional book addresses one of my worries.  Lately, I have been worrying about my future, and this devotional answered my daily worry with a promise from God.  I thought it was good enough to share.

I am with you and for you.  You face nothing alone--nothing!  When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving Me out of the picture.  The remedy is simple: Fix you eyes not one what is seen but on what is unseen.  Verbalize your trust in Me, the Living One who sees you always. I will get you safely through this day ans all your days.  But you can find Me only in the present.  Each day is a precious gift from My Father.  How ridiculous to grasp future gifts when today's is set before you!  Receive today's gifts gratefully, unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths.  As you savor this gift, you find Me.

  I feel many humans, even those to whom I am related, would look at this mission statement and think of it as 'over the top,' one of those crazy dedicated Christian things that, in reality, no one can really do.  I have been questioning this lately, and am glad to hear God speaking to me through multiple things I read.  He is constantly reminding me that one can never trust Him too much. 

  I am hoping this Romania trip will engrave that in not only my brain, but also my heart, and I will be able to live out each day and not have to worry about my future, and just let it come to me, trusting God has everything under control, including money problems.